version ticket published on my main blog . Republished here because sometimes people contact me through this blog.
I just published a " advice to those seeking to contact me . And I think my expertise about the socialization online. It gave me the idea to write a sort of guide to help people who do not have much experience in the field. I have a hard time selling me .
Yes, I am a butterfly Social . I readily binds friendship with people and I usually have excellent contacts. In fact, I am rather selective: basically, I love everybody.
This does not absolutely say that my level of intimacy is constant, regardless of the individual. In fact, my way of managing the degree of intimacy is quite complex and depends on many factors. It is well recognized but difficult to verbalize, especially in public.
And that leads me to think that, like many, I am "very busy". Every day I receive several requests from people who want to be in contact with me, one way or another. It is so frequent that I think little. But it's part of my daily life, as is the case for many people who spend time online (blogger, members of social networks, etc..).
Obviously, many of these applications belong to the category of "undesirable". It could take stock of Ten Great Plagues of the Internet, spam until the untimely solicitation. But my purpose here is broader. Discuss some ways to establish social contact. Whether it be friends or simply get in widespread social (becoming the "knowledge" someone else).
basic question: how to make an appropriate request to make contact with someone? There are more specific questions. For example, how to prove to someone that our intentions are legitimate? It's not very complicated and very fast. But it uses a peculiar logic that I believe to know.
Much of all this is what is called "common sense". " This should be obvious . But as we often say in ethnography, which seems obvious to some may seem very strange to others. Basically, social contact-line has its own cultural backgrounds and must learn to live online as it learns to move into a new area. While most of the things I say here seem very obvious, it does not mean they are well known to the "general public".
So what is the logic of social interaction online?
must first understand that people who spend time online receive tons of requests daily. Even a social butterfly like me ends up being selective. It wants to be inclusive but we want to be flooded, so we sort queries we receive. We are willing to trust , but we want to be fooled, when you stand on guard.
So, to contact someone like me, "is how .
A very important dimension is the transparency . I think even the "radical transparency . By presenting themselves to others, better to be transparent. No need to reveal everything, quite the contrary. We must "control his mask." We must "handle the veil . A great way is to be transparent.
The basic idea behind this concept is that absolute anonymity is an illusion. Everything you do online leaves a trace. If people want us to trace, they are often able to do so. By providing access to a public profile, we avoid some intrusions.
Much the same idea behind the "geolocation". In "our post-industrial world, we are often easy to locate in space (through, among other things, the RFID ). On the other hand, people sometimes want to let others know their location and for multiple reasons. By giving people some information about our geographic presence, attempting to control some information about us. The "geolocation" can range from very precise temporal and geographical ("I'm at the end of the counter Caffè in Gamba until 13:30) until more vague (" I'll be back in Europe for an indefinite period over the next six months "). It is also possible to guide people on the wrong track, make them believe they are somewhere else than where it actually is. It is also possible to give just enough information so that people have no particular interest to us "stalk". It's a bit of a cons-face attack intrusions into our privacy.
Since many "surfers" have adopted such strategies against intrusion, it is important to follow these strategies and may be useful to adopt similar strategies. This implies that we should accept the image that the individual wants to project and give this individual the opportunity to get a picture of us.
In most social contexts, people reveal themselves more easily to those who reveal themselves. In some corners of the world (much of the blogosphere but also much of Africa), people have a very sophisticated way to show very transparent while retaining much of their life very secret. Hiding in public. It is a radical form of "self-presentation . No hypocrisy in all this. Nothing sneaky. But a well-controlled transparency. Radical by its utility (and not by his lack of modesty).
"In-line, everyone acts like a celebrity." In fact, everyone lives a life so public, on the 'Net. This implies several things. Firstly it is almost as hard to protect their privacy online than in a typical African city (where the management of the boundary between public and private life is subject of great sophistication). It also means that each person is less vulnerable to the onslaught of celebrity as there is much more information on many more people. It's a little theory of noise in the fight against the paparazzi and other predators. This is where the transparency of several aid anonymity on each.
To me, the most effective way to show transparency is to build a public profile on a blog and / or a social network. There are lots of ways to build their profile according to our own needs and interests, the effect remains the same. It a way to "present" within the meaning of the word.
The role of the profile is much more complex than people seem to think these journalists who comment on the lives of "surfers". Yes, it can be a "card", especially useful for professional networking. For some it is a bit like a dating agency form (with weight and height). Many people make public things that seem incriminating. But it is mainly a way to control the image ,
To some extent, "the more you reveal, the more we hide." By offering people the opportunity to learn more about us, we can flexibility. Moreover, one can create a character from scratch, what many have done at one time. This technique of hiding darkening. Or, thinking the computer is an encryption method and " obfuscation."
But you can also "be yourself" and accept themselves as such. From the point of view "philosophy of life" is not bad, in my opinion.
By building its profile, we think what we want to unveil. The accuracy varies greatly depending on how we proceed and in different contexts. Not linear in all this. There are things we will be happy to unveil a foreigner and they will confess to not close. We can maintain a certain public figure who is sometimes more real than our behavior in private. And you may be using more tact with friends than people who we meet by chance.
There is the whole issue of privacy, of course. But it's not all. Indeed, is the complexity, the idea of "privacy." Much of what we can say about yourself can have the effect of involving other people. This is sometimes obvious, sometimes very subtle. The strategy of "radical transparency" through social contact online can be difficult to reconcile with our social life offline. But we can not afford to say nothing. Everything is a matter of dosage.
There are multiple ways to build a public profile and are generally easy to use. The best method generally depends on the context and also the time to update (individually or in a centralized ), there are few disadvantages of having many different profiles on public services.
Personally, I think a blog is a great way to keep a public profile. Those who leave comments on blogs have a special interest to create a profile blogger, even if they do not issue tickets themselves. There is a sense of reciprocity in the world of blogging. In fact, there is a negotiation about the differences between post and comment. Sometimes it is better to write his own ticket in response to that of another (the links between Notes are listed by the "pings" and "trackbacks"). But, by leaving a comment on the blog of someone else, we made a indirect promotion: "moderate and temperate" (in all senses of these terms). My preference is
and at WordPress.com Disparate is my main blog. Although not a true social network, WordPress.com has some elements that facilitate contacts among bloggers. For example, comments on a blog published by a user of WordPress.com WordPress.com is automatically linked to this account, which facilitates the writing of the commentary (no need to type the information) and links the commentator's identity. Blogger (Blogspot.com or) also some of these benefits but since several blogs on Blogger accept OpenID credentials and that WordPress.com provides such credentials, I tend to identify myself through WordPress.com rather than through Google / Blogger.
Outside the world of blogs, there is the social network services, since SixDegrees.com ( at the time) to OpenSocial (the future). All these services offer users the ability to create a profile (or General specialized ) and specify the relationships we have with others.
These days, just everything online has a "social" in that it is generally possible to use almost anything to bind it to someone else . In each case, there is a "work the image "more or less sophisticated. But are not obliged to undertake the "work of the image" a very direct way, those who are active online (including many teenagers) have mastered the art of playing with their identities.
It may also be useful to create a public profile on micro-blogging platforms like Identi.ca and Twitter . These platforms have a rather interesting effect at the level of social contact. The profile of each user is rather skeletal, but the links between users a degree of sophistication because there is a distinction between unidirectional link and link bidirectional. In fact, it is relatively difficult to describe out of context so I think I will drop this section yet. A good prerequisite for understanding the basis of microbloguage is this short video , also available with French subtitles .
All for about public profile!
Starting this post, I'm working on several other aspects. But I still think the base is there and I'll probably write more tickets on the same issue in the future.
Still some bits, just to keep this post "in progress". A
important point, in my opinion is that it is usually best left to others to bind us, except when there is a link that can be established. That's really the idea behind my previous post . Oh sure, we can reach out to people in a specific context. If we are to the same event, you can go to report "no other". Once there is community of practice (or community experience), we can take the opportunity to get acquainted. This is simply not to grab the attention of anyone and accept each other's way of manifesting his opinions.
So by context (even online), we can reach out to people.
But out of context, it is a pretty silly idea of going to appear in people without being invited.
For me it's just a matter of courtesy. But there is also a question of understanding the context. Even if we all react a little differently to Unsolicited calls , others have difficulty understanding the protocol.
And the protocol is not so different from life offline. Moreover, a technique very useful in offline contexts and that its importance Online is the use of intermediaries. Maybe because I think in Mali, I tend to think of the role of the griot and play very complex indirection, through social contact. Professional Network LinkedIn uses a very crude version of the principle of indirection, without expanding the role of the intermediary. Yet it is often by building social mediation that really understands how the social relations.
Still, there is a way forward, when you want to contact people online. This protocol is much more fluid than can be social codes best known companies in the industry. That may be what misleads inexperienced people who believe that "the Internet, you can do anything."
Hence the idea of helping people understand the social contact online.
This entry was partly motivated by a query that was sent to me via email. This person was trying to befriend me but his request was vague and decontextualized. I have therefore written a reply which contained some elements of what I wanted to write here.
Here is an excerpt of my reply:
If you got yourself a blog is a great way to introduce themselves. Or an account on one of many social networks. Afterwards, you can leave the link to your profile when you contact someone and let the others to bind you, if you interested. It is very easy and very effective. The unsolicited messages directly to the email address of someone, it arouses suspicion. Especially when the title is very generic, or that the message is not specific enough. Not your fault, but the context.
In fact, the best method is to go through pre-established contacts. If we have mutual friends, that's it. Otherwise, the second best method is to leave a comment very relevant to the blog of someone you want to know. Then that person will contact you. But if the comment is not relevant enough, this same person may believe that something is junk and delete your comments even include you in a blacklist.
not I use Messenger, no. And I'm not often enough on other messaging platforms to agree to talk with people like that. I know this is a technique used by some serious people, but it is especially a means used by evil people.
If you need help, you know how to contact me! ;-)
